The main reason we had stopped at Noboribetsu in particular was to explore Jigokudani – a hiking area near the onsens.  Now remember – onsens are hot springs, so clearly something is MAKING them hot.  In this case, it’s another reminder, like Yosemite or Iceland, that the earth hates us and is trying to kill us. (To be fair, with good reason.)

Jigokudani, incidentally, means “hell valley.”

“Hey honey, let’s take a selfie in front of the terrifying infernal nightmare-scape!”

We probably took more pictures of this than anything else on the trip besides the penguins and the deer.  (More on the deer later.)

Then we walked over to a mud pool, and that was terrifying too.

We weren’t being artistic and shooting in black and white – this is a COLOR photo of a metal as hell location.

The whole place was just absurdly scenic.

…and terrifying.  Scenic and terrifying.  Properly in awe of the majesty of the earth, we headed back to our hotel to have breakfast.

After another lovely meal, we headed up the street to watch the animatronic show at the nearby shrine (I can’t quite believe I just typed that sentence), where this:

Suddenly turns into this:

It was… certainly a thing that happened.

From there, we took a bus to a seriously Ghibli-esque train station to catch our ride to our next destination. (I considered typing “Ghibli-ass train station” there, but decided it would be tasteless.) I played the public piano in the train station a bit while we waited to leave. (“I Remember You”, Mercer and Schertzinger, 1941)

Our last stop in Hokkaido was the seaside town of Hakodate, which is quiet and picturesque, and has an incredible affinity for squid.  More on squid tomorrow. When the train arrived, we checked into our hotel (not difficult, since it was attached to the train station) and walked across the street to a local institution, “Lucky Pierrot”.  Lucky Pierrot is a burger chain that only exists in Hakodate.  I cannot explain it.

Seriously – I just can’t. (This picture was taken at night, for maximum terror, but we ate there for lunch.)

Whatever music you think was playing in this picture, you’re probably right.

Weird burger chains aside, Hakodate is a city known for a mix of Japanese and Western architectural styles, since it was one of the first ports opened to western visitors after the forcible opening of Japan during the Meiji restoration. We walked over to the old quarter to gawp at some of that.

Sadly, we were unable to have the Second Most Delicious Ice Cream Melon Bread In The World, because the store was closed.

So we had some melon ice cream instead.  They’re REALLY good at milk and melon in Hokkaido. Also melon bread, apparently, although that doesn’t have any melon in it.

While wandering about, we also saw a truly stupendous sight:

You’ll never guess what was located just a few feet away. No, not beer. OK, yes also beer. But first, just out of frame to the left was Japan’s SECOND Concrete Electricity Pole! Just a WHIRLWIND of a day, I tell you.

So then we got beer.
As it was getting towards sunset, we decided to take a gondola up to the top of the nearby mountain (“Mount Hakodate”, unoriginally enough) and take in the view. With several thousand of our closest new friends.

It WAS a hell of a view, though.

Once we got back to town, we stopped at another brewery for second beer and first squid. First of many, many squid.

But that will be a story for the next day.